Top 10 Alternatives to the Wii this Christmas
With the Nintendo Wii being the HOT item for the second year in a row I thought it would be helpful to pick 10 items that will get you as much enjoyment out of the holidays as the popular home entertainment system that just happens to be sold out everywhere and extremely hard to find without paying 300% more than the retail price.
10: DOG AFRO
A dog in an afro is 10 times funnier than anything Mario has ever done.
9: USB TOASTER
I’m pretty sure this toaster has the same power and graphic capabilities as the Wii, but can the Wii make toast?
8: SHOWER MIC SPONGE
The Wii has games like Guitar Hero and Rockstar, but acoustics are so much better in the shower.
7: MR. T’s BE SOMEBODY – SELF HELP VIDEO
Can the Wii make you feel better about yourself? Can it pull off a mohawk and gold chains? Hell…the Wii couldn’t even support a game starring Mr. T without it overloading because awesomeness can’t be measured in gigabytes.
6: BED NEON GROUND EFFECTS
Hey, sometimes the chicks want Fast and the Furious in the bedroom.
5: THE DADDLE
Having kids is back-breaking work. Protect yourself. Plus…if your wife isn’t gonna call you a stallion, at least someone will.
4: HERPES (plush version)
It’s the ultimate gift that keeps on giving. And if you can convince the receiver that this Herpes is cute, maybe they won’t mind as much when those real ones start to show. The Wii doesn’t have any STD’s.
3: FETUS PURSE
The gift of life (in yarn form). Priceless.
2: TAMPON STUNGUN
No mugger/rapist/door to door salesmen wants to be touched by a stungun, let alone a tampon. So it’s double effective. “Tampon Stungun” is also coincidentally the name of my new band that I haven’t formed yet.
1: ELECTRONIC YODELING PICKLE
When I think about pickles, yodeling and electronics…actually I’ve never thought about all those things at once. Which is exactly why this might be the best gift ever invented and clearly better than the Wii.
I hope I’ve given you all some hope during this stressful holiday season and given you plenty of options. So get out there and buy these presents for your loved ones. Stop looking for the Wii and be original for once. They will love you for it.
Merry Christmas!
-Admin
(Now maybe I can get a Wii for myself.)
P.S. to the haters, complainers and everyone else, the images here were found by Google Image search and not all of them are even real products. If you see something here that should be linked or you would like to be linked, just drop me an email at wordtoyour@gmail.com thanks
