TOP 10 Reasons I Don’t Want To Be Country

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Humor
• Date: Apr 8,2008

Every one is a part of a group be it urban, emo, or metal.  But there is one group I will never be a part of… COUNTRY! Read the rest of this entry »

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Top 10 Awesome Fake Bands

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Humor
• Date: Nov 29,2007

10: AUTOBAHN

Three German nihilists of a techno-pop band in the movie The Big Lebowski with one of the members being Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The cover of their fake album was a knock-off of real band Kraftwerk. Though we never hear them play, the characters themselves easily earn the last spot on this list.

9: SONIC DEATH MONKEY

aka Barry Jive and the Uptown Five

aka Kathleen Turner Overdrive

Jack Black’s band in the movie High Fidelity. After someone finally replies to his flyer for his band, Barry gets to play at his boss’ EP release party with his newly formed group, changing their name at the last minute and performing a rendition of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”.

8: DETHKLOK

A virtual death metal band from the TV show “Metalocalypse”. Though it is considered a fake band, they released an album that debuted at #21 on Billboard’s Top 200 earning it the highest charting death metal album of all time.

7: THE BAND THAT PLAYED CALIFORNIA LADY

As seen on Mystery Science Theater 3000, a made-up band that consists of “The Fish-Lipped Guy, the Eskimo and the Friendly-Looking Back-Up Singer”.

6: TIMMY AND THE LORDS OF THE UNDERWORLD

Timmy from Southparks band in a Battle of the Bands competition.

5: STINKY WHIZZLETEATS

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From the Ren & Stimpy Cartoon. Stimpy brings home his favorite album.

4: THE LONE RANGERS

A rock trio consisting of Brendan Frasier, Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi that holds a rock radio station hostage to get their song played on the air in the movie “Airheads”.

3: FUCK YOU YANKEE BLUE JEANS

Silent Bob’s cousin Olaf Oleeson from Moscow performs his song “Berserker” for a sexy girl in the movie Clerks.

2: MOLOCH

From an episode of CHiPs, Donny Most aka Ralph Malph from Happy Days plays a KISS-like rock star. Fast forward to 2:10 for Moloch in all his fake rock god-ness.

1: SPINAL TAP

Is there any question as to who should be the number one most awesome fake band in history?

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TOP 10 Bad Side Dishes for the Holidays

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Humor
• Date: Nov 19,2007

10: BBQ Beetles

Crunchy, tasty treats with that tangy barbecue taste we all love.

9: RATS

Truly a classic. Rats can be served many ways, one of the more popular is boiled then lightly grilled.

8: ESCAMOLES

The larvae of ants harvested from the roots of the agave plant in Mexico. Considered a delicacy and sometimes referred to as “insect caviar”.

7: GRILLED SPIDER

A popular snack along the banks of the Tonle Sap. Just throw the tarantula on the grill and enjoy.

6: KOPI LUWAK

Coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the cat-sized mammal called the Asian Palm Civet. Also known as…Poop Berries.

5: HASMA

Hasma is frog ovaries, or more precisely, the fallopian tubes of the hermaphrodite frog. Served as a delicious soup.

4: WATERBUG CHILI PASTE

Nothing says down-home chili like Asian waterbugs in paste form.

3: WITCHETTY GRUB

Australian grubs, ready to eat. An aboriginal favorite.

2: BABY TURTLES

“I like turtles.” But not enough to eat them live as recently seen on Survivor.

1: BALUT

The ever popular fertilized duck egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell.

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TOP 10 Fat Kid Videos

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Humor
• Date: Oct 15,2007

10: Fat Kid Ride

9: Just Fall

8: Van Slip

7: Fat Dive

6: Just Ain’t Hungry

5: Paintball Fat Kid

4: Dance Dance Fat

3: Fat Moped

2: Numa Numa

1: Star Wars Kid

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TOP 10 Bad Hair Choices

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Humor
• Date: Sep 5,2007

10: THE BILLY RAY DO’

I know everyone is a mullet hater out there because it’s cool to hate mullets even though it’s even cooler to idolize Chuck Norris who also happens to have a mullet. Mullets really are bad though so I will let you have your Ten Spot.

9: THE JHERI DO’

The hairstyle that never lets you rest your head on anything and ruins all of  your clothing. Oh, and it smells. Where is the logic in this style?

8: THE JONG DO’

For a leader of a country who’s spent over 20 Million on stockpiling Mercedes Benzs’, you’d think he could drop a couple bucks on a bottle of gel or mousse or anything really?

7: THE METAL DO’

I never got it. I didn’t really care for it when the chicks did it either. I’m just gonna guess it was some big campaign worked up by the hairspray industry who cut a deal with the music industry. They made alot of money and then walked away without ever mentioning it again.

6: THE TRUMP DO’

Screw you. I am not following the general public and making this number one. Yeah, it’s bad but thousands of businessmen sport this horrible hairdo on a daily basis. It’s staying at six.

5: THE BRIT DO’

This is for females only because we all know Vin Diesel pulls it off flawlessly. Guys don’t like it when you cut your hair. Period. So therefore cutting it ALL off is probably the worst thing you could do.

4: THE SEAGULL DO’

I’ve done this on many occasions. When I get out of the shower and I’m combing my hair. But then I fix it and leave the house looking like a normal person.

3: THE VANILLA DO’

Oh Vanilla. I’m thinking you actually like it when people make fun of you. My guess is he was going for the “Ken” look so he might score his own plastic chick with humanly impossible body measurements.

2: THE KID DO’

There is a reason why you didn’t see college kids running around with Kid’s hairstyle after House Party came out in theaters. It’s F’ing Stupid! So get a student loans to help pay for a haircut.

1: THE SPECTOR DO’

Yes, this is my number one Bad Hair choice. Phil Spector has the same hairstyle as my aunt Marlene. And I’m sure it’s a giant fireball just waiting to happen if he uses as many cans of Aquanet as my dear aunt.

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