TOP 10 Reasons I Want a Dolphin Boat
- Filed under: Tech
- Date: Apr 14,2009
I know I’ve been gone awhile but all it took was being all lazy and watching basic cable to become inspired enough to get back into writing these TOP 10 lists. What inspired me? The Dolphin Boat also known as…The Seabreacher might be the coolest thing since Jet Skis and F-14 Tomcats and I want one. Check out the video and you will most likely agree that these are the TOP 10 reasons I want a Dolphin Boat.
1. It has the cockpit of a jet fighter and the graceful looks of a dolphin.
It’s like Top Gun meets Baywatch.
2. Barrel Rolls.
Barrel Rolls in a Dolphin Boat are the equivalent of showing off your sweet, bunny hopping skills back when you had a BMX. And that means barrel rolls are awesome.
3. The possible addition of tuna shaped torpedos.
Though I’d be happy it it just fired Chinese throwing starfish.
4. Makes it possible to finally join a dolphin gang.
Dolphins are notorious for their “pods” of roving gangs. They’ve even been known to take down sharks and other sea creatures like, oh I dunno, KILLER WHALES! Once you’re part of that gang, you have nothing left to fear.
5. Make love to Kanye West.
This probably needs more explanation so just watch the video…
6. Chicks love dolphins.
They wear shirts with them, tattoo their boobs and also have been known to carry Trapper Keepers featuring colorful depictions of them soaring through the air.
7. You can play the roles of both Darwin the dolphin and Lucas from SeaQuest DSV simultaneously.
You can realistically reenact all your favorite episodes without all the suicidal tendencies.
8. You can organize a union for Shamu and the other ocean creatures at Sea World.
Those trained animals have worked their tails off for years. It’s about time someone sticks up for them and gets the proper health care and 401k’s that they so rightly deserve.
9. This concept of Dolphin Boat Safe Tuna will make Jessica Simpsons’ head explode.
“Durr…is this a chicken boat or a dolphin-safe tuna boat. Durr, I got fat.”
10. Because there is no such thing as a “Great White Shark Boat” yet.
THIS is the only thing cooler than a Dolphin Boat.
4 Responses for "TOP 10 Reasons I Want a Dolphin Boat"
Finally. a post. Don’t ever leave us again! >:D<
Great post. I want one too, but not for the purpose of making love to KAnye. His music is terrible. Have you read his blog response to that episode? “It hurt my feelings.” Bawwwwwwww!
haha yes I am… needed a very rested vacation =)
BOUT time you posted a hole! LOVE THIS! I want an effing Dolphin boat. More reasons play the lotto!
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