TOP 10 Spider-Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Entertainment
• Date: Oct 6,2008

I was a huge Spider-Man comic fan. So, when the first movie came out I was overjoyed. In my opinion I thought they nailed it. Part two came out and I got a little nervous with the direction. Then the third movie dropped and I almost bought a high-powered rifle to seek out Tobey McGuire with ill-intent. Now I hear they are making two more movies and if the direction is any indication I say we replace Tobey now. These are the TOP 10 Spider-Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire.

10. The Scarlet Spider

I debated using this one because it almost makes sense. The Scarlet Spider was a bonafide super hero in the Spider-Man comics. But then he loses all credibility by hiding his leotard under a baby blue hoodie. Even so, he’s better than Tobey McGuire.

9. Baby Spider-Man

Remember the movie “Baby Geniuses 2″? I’d rather see a Spider-Baby Geniuses than another Tobey version.

8. Public Service Spider-Man

After spooging web fluid all over New York, I think it’s time Spidey gets to cleaning. He’s like a teenager with free late-night Cinemax out there and it’s time they deal with this. Yes, washing windows interests me more than another McGuire version.

7. Homeless Spider-Man

Actually I don’t want to see a homeless Spider-Man movie, I just really want Tobey McGuire to be homeless.

6. Bad Spider-Man

Here’s a twist. Instead of “going emo”, Spider-Man puts on a 100 pounds and starts robbing banks. That is turning bad…not dancing and pointing “gun fingers”.

5. Knitting Spider-Man

100x more interesting than watching another Spider-Man movie with James Francos’ Green Goblin (and Tobey).

4. S&M Spider-Man

When studios realized after the success of the Dark Knight that maybe they should go in a darker direction, you can only imagine them developing something like this. Batman likes to party, Iron Man likes to drink, why not let Spider-Man get a little kinky? Tobey needs to be spanked for ruining movies anyway.

3. Old, Drunk and Fat Spider-Man

It’s hard enough for the regular Joe to feel any kind of connection with the wall crawler, what with his six-pack abs and awesome super powers. I think it’s time we flip the script and give us someone we can really relate to.

2. Weird Foreign Spider-Man

Other countries always have a unique take on American pop-culture. I’m willing to see where it goes.

1. Body Paint Spider-Man

THIS! This is what it’s come down to. Spider-Man 3 was so goddamn bad that I would rather sit through 2 hours of this guy swinging more than just web around New York City than see Tobey reprise his role as Peter Parker.