Top 10 List

TOP 10 Spider-Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire

top10spidermanbanner TOP 10 Spider Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire

I was a huge Spider-Man comic fan. So, when the first movie came out I was overjoyed. In my opinion I thought they nailed it. Part two came out and I got a little nervous with the direction. Then the third movie dropped and I almost bought a high-powered rifle to seek out Tobey McGuire with ill-intent. Now I hear they are making two more movies and if the direction is any indication I say we replace Tobey now. These are the TOP 10 Spider-Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire.

10. The Scarlet Spider

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I debated using this one because it almost makes sense. The Scarlet Spider was a bonafide super hero in the Spider-Man comics. But then he loses all credibility by hiding his leotard under a baby blue hoodie. Even so, he’s better than Tobey McGuire.

9. Baby Spider-Man

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Remember the movie “Baby Geniuses 2″? I’d rather see a Spider-Baby Geniuses than another Tobey version.

8. Public Service Spider-Man

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After spooging web fluid all over New York, I think it’s time Spidey gets to cleaning. He’s like a teenager with free late-night Cinemax out there and it’s time they deal with this. Yes, washing windows interests me more than another McGuire version.

7. Homeless Spider-Man

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Actually I don’t want to see a homeless Spider-Man movie, I just really want Tobey McGuire to be homeless.

6. Bad Spider-Man

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Here’s a twist. Instead of “going emo”, Spider-Man puts on a 100 pounds and starts robbing banks. That is turning bad…not dancing and pointing “gun fingers”.

5. Knitting Spider-Man

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100x more interesting than watching another Spider-Man movie with James Francos’ Green Goblin (and Tobey).

4. S&M Spider-Man

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When studios realized after the success of the Dark Knight that maybe they should go in a darker direction, you can only imagine them developing something like this. Batman likes to party, Iron Man likes to drink, why not let Spider-Man get a little kinky? Tobey needs to be spanked for ruining movies anyway.

3. Old, Drunk and Fat Spider-Man

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It’s hard enough for the regular Joe to feel any kind of connection with the wall crawler, what with his six-pack abs and awesome super powers. I think it’s time we flip the script and give us someone we can really relate to.

2. Weird Foreign Spider-Man

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Other countries always have a unique take on American pop-culture. I’m willing to see where it goes.

1. Body Paint Spider-Man

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THIS! This is what it’s come down to. Spider-Man 3 was so goddamn bad that I would rather sit through 2 hours of this guy swinging more than just web around New York City than see Tobey reprise his role as Peter Parker.

 



6 Responses for "TOP 10 Spider-Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire"

  1. Brock Landers October 7th, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Sweet list.

  2. nate xxx October 7th, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    where are number 10’s HANDS?!!! I am loving the nude spiderman too- he looks so proud of himself yet he can’t bear to see his own painted junk!! I wonder if the color goes all the way down!!

  3. Top 10 Kid October 10th, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    @ nate xxx

    Holy crap that’s freaky…

    I didn’t even notice that.

  4. Brandon April 1st, 2009 at 1:54 am

    #3, George Clooney.

  5. Prováveis Substitutos de Tobey McGuire como Homem Aranha « Blog do Tony Ramos July 31st, 2009 at 9:33 am

    [...] Fonte: TOP 10 Spider-Men That Should Replace Tobey McGuire [...]

  6. e cigarette August 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Great list. Who knew spider man could be depicted so many different ways? My favs were S&M and naked spidey. Wait, I’ve said to much.


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