TOP 10 Events That Would Encourage My Olympic Viewing

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Sports
• Date: Aug 12,2008

Synchronized swimming, rowing, badminton…why not throw in yawning so I can compete along with them? If I had my way there would be some new events that not only I would enjoy watching, but could have a few beers and actually compete in. These are the TOP 10 Events That Would Encourage My Olympic Viewing.

10. Cornholing

You know the game that your aunts and uncles play at the family barbecue where they toss bean bags into some holes in a piece of plywood while clutching a cold brewski in their free hand. Believe it or not, there is skill in this game though alcohol probably has a lot to do with making things more difficult.

9. Billiards

Pool is a gentleman’s game. It’s also a scumbag-shark-who-will-steal-your-money-and-your-girlfriend-if-you’re-not-careful game. But, it still takes some serious talent. Oh, and you can drink booze while you play it.
 

8. Shuffleboard

Drinking beers will convince you to play this game and furthermore will convince you that you are better than anyone at this game. Let’s see how this affects different continents and their choice of beverage.
 

7. Competitive Eating

Now that Takeru Kobayashi has been defeated multiple times in competitive eating tournaments, Japan won’t be unstoppable in this contest. It is time for the world to put their own against some of the greatest in the world to earn medals and national admiration and not just All-You-Can-Eat Coupons at the local sponsored eateries.
 

6. Frisbee Golf

Dude. Have you played Frisbee Golf? Like, I’m not sure why this isn’t already in there. Maybe it is? I need to check the Wiki or something. Later dudes.
 

5. Ultimate Fighting

Boxing is so last century. Mixed Martial Arts is where it’s at and a true test of fighting skill. Oh, you can still enter your country’s best boxer to compete but try to keep your people from rioting when he taps to an arm bar in less than 30 seconds.
 

4. Dodgeball

Think about the wars that could be avoided by having countries deal out their own form of warfare on the dodgeball court. Once you’ve been blasted in the face by a dodgeball you will know that you have been defeated and that the person that did it is now your superior.
 

3. Pole Dancing

In the beginning, the Olympics were only for men but things have changed and women have just as much a place in it as the males. What I have seen women do on this pole would make Kerri Strug applaud their courage. It only makes sense that this be the defining event for the ladies.
 

2. Roshambo

A simple game of taking turns kicking your opponent in the testicles until only one of you is left standing. The only thing that could ruin this event is if Taiwan is allowed to enter their “lady-boys”. The gold medal would be as good as thiers.

1. Beer Pong

The pinnacle in all sports-related drinking, Beer Pong takes alcohol consumption, coordination and tolerance to new levels. Screw the medals, bragging rights is what this game is all about and if you win at Beer Pong in the Olympics…the World will know.