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Top 10 Uses For Your Economic Stimulus Payment

  • Author: Top 10 Kid
  • Filed under: Humor
  • Date: May 14,2008

After cashing in your stocks, foreclosing on your house and filing for bankruptcy, here are ten things you can do with your Economic Stimulus Payment.

10. Tickets to EuroDisney

9. Rent a villa in Tijuana

8. Let it accrue interest in an Off-Shore bank account

7. Spend it all on Canadian Bacon and Molson Ice

6. Pay a coyote to bring the rest of your family across the border

5. Open a sweatshop in Taiwan

4. Order a Russian bride

3. Buy an 8-Ball of Columbian Bam Bam

2. Adopt an Ethiopian

1. Donate to the Chinese Space Program



15 Responses for "Top 10 Uses For Your Economic Stimulus Payment"

  1. College Kid May 15th, 2008 at 10:02 am

    Tijuana here I come!

  2. William Fernandez May 15th, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Who needs bacon when you have molson and “bam bam”…lol…

  3. Brett May 15th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    HAHA!!! Oh, the Bush administration would shit if they read this!

    Nice work!

  4. Rytis May 16th, 2008 at 10:15 am

    Sorry for ignorance, but what’s bam-bam? Looks like I’m late for villa…

  5. Margaret Schaut May 16th, 2008 at 10:33 am

    How did YOU know what they wanted us to buy???

    Is this an inside job?

  6. Alan Bradford May 16th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    This is a great shopping list. I will be following it exactly as soon as the check shows up. If I have anything left over, I will also be purchasing:

    1. Sweaters for my dog
    2. Some spinning rims from Walmart for my 1987 Ford Taurus
    3. Membership to the Gourmet Cheese of the Month Club

    Thanks for the tips.

  7. Bubz May 19th, 2008 at 5:55 am

    HAHA I always wanted my own Ethiopian

    altho Canadian Bacon sounds tasty.

  8. Phil E. Drifter May 20th, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    You people, I’m sorry to say, are absolutely dimwitted. The very reason the government is giving money back to the people is because they’re all drowning in debt.

    Spending your stimulus package is the worst thing you could do. PAY OFF YOUR DEBTS!

  9. Top 10 Kid May 20th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
    @ Phil E. Drifter

    Thank you sir.

    This was the exact comment I was waiting for when I wrote this article.

    Bravo, numbnuts.

  10. I was born addicted… « Alburn Binkley May 21st, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    [...] heard and seen numerous radio and television ads that would have you buy new plasma screens, rims for your car, boats, and a number of things that are more than $600. All of this is going to add up to Americans [...]

  11. jinnan salt May 22nd, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    Rytis- bam bam is coke

  12. doug m May 22nd, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    why buy bacon when you can buy http://www.baconsalt.com, then everything can taste like bacon

  13. Professor Me May 26th, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! ….. …….. hahahahahah HAHAHA!!!!! @ Phil E. Drifter lol for being such a god damned idiot. thanks friend. knowing that my crew and I have yet to kill off all of the worlds idiots makes my life worth living.

  14. Shrirang June 8th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    It is true that we should pay off our debts, but who can resist that villa in Tijuana. lol

  15. Gruntwilligar June 16th, 2008 at 3:47 am

    Does the villa in Tijuana come with staff? For the price I would want fresh tortillas with my meals.


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