TOP 10 Police Bribes That Never Work

• Author: Top 10 Kid
• Filed under: Humor
• Date: Jul 30,2007

10: A HUG

Even if your offer to comfort Johnny Law is completely heartfelt, it’s also the quickest way to catch a nightstick in the groin. (Unless you’re a Grandma)

9: A PEEK IN YOUR DIARY

It may work on you smaller siblings, but Kojack here doesn’t give a rats’ ass about which boy/girl you make out with your pillow to.

8: A FREE PUNCH

He has a badge and a gun. He can hand out free punches all day long as long as he stands just off to the side of the DashCam.

7: A GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD

No one even uses those in Monopoly. You’d have a better chance of asking if you can roll doubles to get out of the ticket.

6: YOUR SACK LUNCH

Unless you packed some Top Sirloin and an Ice Cold Beer you might wanna keep your tuna sandwich to yourself.

5: CASH

It’s going to cost you more than any ticket you’ll receive so don’t bother. Instead save your money for college, genius. Or get a student loan.

 4: A MASSAGE WITH HAPPY ENDING

Good luck getting Starsky to strip down and lie on the hood of your car. Plus cranking a cop on the interstate might draw too much attention.

3: DOUGHNUTS

They want them. You know they want them. But they will never take them because they don’t want to perpetuate the stereotype.

2: YOUR AUTOGRAPH

Cops never give the star treatment. Unless you are Bruce Springsteen.

1: THE SHOCKER

Just don’t.